Up until this year, I had conceded the fact that I would be perpetually disappointed by the gifts I received for my birthday. It is certainly not due to lack of effort, but the things that my wife and kids buy me always seem a bit mundane and superfluous. This year, I was prepared for another let down, but much to my delight my family came through with a wonderful surprise.
As somewhat of a germaphobe, I am constantly looking for means of improving my hygiene. You can imagine my delight when I tore off the wrapping paper to find a Brondell bidet. Now I will finally be able to forego the antiquated routine of TP and achieve a truly clean posterior.